Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is…
PTSD is, buying spy glasses on the internet, so you can see behind you when you go for a walk in your neighborhood.
PTSD is, never having two headphones in at the same time, so you can “hear everything” around you.
PTSD is, hearing kids scream out of excitement, on the playground, and immediately thinking someone is being attacked.
PTSD is, thinking everyone has ulterior motives. That no one is truly safe.
PTSD is, feeling lonely, in a crowd full of people.
PTSD is, not sleeping, because you always feel you need to be on high alert.
PTSD is, going for a run, even though you despise exercise; because you need something to bring you back to your body, since you “left it” this morning.
PTSD is, having difficulty being present, because you’re still obsessing about things that happened over 20 years ago.
PTSD is, being so tense, all the time, to the point where your body throbs and aches.
PTSD is, seeing your worst nightmare play on a screen, in your head, over and over and over again. Forever.
PTSD is, worrying about everything and nothing, to the point that your stomach is in knots, your head pounds, and your heart beats furiously. You think to yourself, “how much longer of this can my body take?”
PTSD is, debilitating. It’s exhausting. And, it’s scary…
But, it’s not the end. It’s really, just the beginning, to be honest.
I know you feel weak, but if you really think about it, this is the strongest you have ever been. Look at everything you’ve survived to get you up to this moment. You’re not frail. You’re a freaking warrior!
You’ve Got This, Queen! 
Allie
