Today, I’m Taking My Power Back

The Mommy Confessions®

Today, I’m Taking My Power Back

❗️Trigger Warning❗️

In 2006, Tarana Burke, started using the term “Me Too” to raise awareness for women who had been abused. “In 2017, the Me Too (or #MeToo) movement, became a social movement against sexual abuse and sexual harassment towards women, where people publicize allegations of sex crimes.” (Google)

I wasn’t ready to speak my truth then, but… I guess I’ll try now.

February 15, 2002, I was a senior in high school. I had turned 18 that past October.

I had battled anorexia and bulimia, for a couple years. I was at the point, where I was overexercising, regularly.

It wasn’t uncommon for me to pass out.

When I was in my tennis lesson that night, my instructor saw me go pale, and then blue, and said he couldn’t continue the lesson with me as weak as I was.

Ok. Fair enough.

However, instead, of sending me home, he took advantage of me.

19 years ago, this man, who was double my age, took everything from me.

I was just a baby. I was still a virgin.

He admitted, he heard me say “no”, but that “all girls say ‘no’, but they mean ‘yes’.”

I don’t know who needs to see this, but when a woman, or a man, or a child, says “no”, it means “NO!”

I’m so sick of holding these demons and this burden of shame. This wasn’t my fault. 19 years of tears, sleepless nights, flashbacks, panic attacks, being terrified of men, and so much more.

I wonder if he even remembers that night…

I am done. I refuse to be ashamed of this. This isn’t my shit to hold onto. Not anymore.

To any other woman (person) out there who can relate, I am right there with you. The stress of this pandemic has been especially triggering, but you are by no means “broken” or “weak”. You are a freaking warrior!!! Own it! You’re amazing!

So yeah…. #MeToo 😔

Alexandra Fisher