Pandemic Parenthood & Mom Guilt
Being a single mom “by choice” means I chose to have these kids, on my own. People often say, “that’s amazing. You’re so brave. I don’t know how you do it.” The truth is, I have lots of support and help. I have a supportive community of family (including my 19 year old aupair who’s like another daughter to me) and friends, around me, and when that’s not “enough”, I am lucky enough to be able to hire a babysitter, even if just for a couple hours, so I can take a nap, or go on a walk. I am by no means, raising these children entirely on my own.
I thought I had planned for everything when I decided to have a family on my own. What I didn’t think of, was a freaking pandemic.
When I look at the state of affairs, the fact that this can go on for months, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was scared. Will I be able to keep up? I always thought of myself as a good enough mom, but by the end of this, will I still be? I’ve always been pretty patient with my children. Will I be able to stay so patient through all of this? I want my son to look back at this time and remember it as a fun time. A time when all rules went out the window. A time when he didn’t have to go to school, and he got to spend weeks on end, at home with me. A time when we had slumber parties and watched too much tv. A time when we laughed, played, and made great memories.
I find myself looking at social media and comparing myself to the other moms. The moms who look like they’re doing a better job. Who look like their kids are having more fun. But then, I remind myself, we’re all doing the best we can, considering these insane circumstances. This pandemic is unprecedented. The world shutting down as it has, is nothing anyone could have expected or prepared for. If you’re getting down on yourself, for whatever reason, don’t. My belief is, try to have as much fun as possible these next weeks/months. BUT, don’t forget, 1. Social media is just a glimpse into others’ lives. 2. This is just a blip in the big picture of your life, and your children’s lives. 3. We’re all doing the best we can, given the circumstances.
Be gentle w yourself ❤️