Loving Your Kids, Isn’t Loving All Their Choices

The Mommy Confessions®

Loving Your Kids, Isn’t Loving All Their Choices

I recently made a post, “if you’re not ok with your child being gay, transgender, any religion, any size, any intelligence, having a disability, or anything in between… don’t have kids. Kids are not here to be who and what you want them to be. They’re here to be who they are meant to be. Themselves!”

One person responded, “my kid wants to be stupid. So, should I just let them be who they want to be and they never have to go to school, learn to read or write, and that’s all good?”


That’s the whole point. You are judging people and criticizing people for things they’re not “wanting”, let alone choosing. No one chooses to be gay, transgender, disabled, or their IQ. I am not a highly religious person, but do people “choose” their religion? Because, I get the sense it’s far deeper than that.

I tried for 20 years not to be gay. I don’t “want” to be gay, queer, or any different than the next person. I “want” to be “normal”. I “want” to “blend in”. This isn’t about “want”, it’s about accepting people for who they are, in their rawest form.

Which brings me to the next ignorant comment… “yeah, especially if they choose to be serial killers.”

First of all, “most” serial killers have dark pasts. Most weren’t raised in loving and accepting homes. So, you’re kind of proving my point, exactly… You have to wonder if they were raised around a little more empathy, love, acceptance, and kindness, if they wouldn’t have turned out so hateful. Some of them, at least. Second of all, again, if my child (heaven forbid) CHOSE to be a criminal, in my deepest love for them, I would try to get them help, and I would most certainly make sure that they and society were protected.

We don’t have to accept all of our children’s decisions, choices, actions. Everyone makes mistakes. But, 1. Sexuality, gender, IQ, etc… aren’t choices. 2. You can love your children and accept who they are (their gender, their sexuality, their ability or disability, their IQ, etc…), as people, and not support their actions or decisions.

So, no… accepting and loving your child entirely, and unconditionally, isn’t supporting your child being a serial killer. It’s loving your children, as they are as their rawest self. Teaching them to love others (and themselves), be kind to others (and themselves), care about others (and themselves), and if they have trouble with any of that, getting them the help they need. But, loving them, nonetheless.

✨@AlexandraFisherrr ✨

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Alexandra Fisher