I’m Not “The Male In Relationships”. I’m A Woman…

The Mommy Confessions®

I’m Not “The Male In Relationships”. I’m A Woman…

The other day, someone close to me assumed me to be “the male in relationships”.  Now, the person who said this, never in a million years meant any harm. And, when I get the courage to tell them that it hurt my feelings, I know they’ll respect how I feel. However, it definitely stung.

What does “being the male in a relationship” even mean? Unless, of course, you are… a male… in a relationship.

When it comes to dating, whoever asks the other person out first, is that “the man in the relationship”? Is it whoever pays for dinner? When it comes to life with a partner, if you’re the one who makes the most money in the household, are you “the man”? If you stay home and take care of the kids, are you “the woman”?

What happens when someone has a penis, identifies as a male, stays home with the kids, while their female wife works at an office, and wait…. cherry on top… what if he wears an earring… or… two?!? Is that a man or a woman? Is that man any less of a man than the next man? Why?

When I was younger, I actually questioned my gender, because I’m a pretty “masculine” woman (as defined by society). I grew up with 3 older brothers. I was too busy trying to keep up with the boys, riding dirt bikes, having mud fights, and catching salamanders, to worry about doing my hair, makeup, and nails. I would feel so insecure, because I got along better and related more with males, in a lot of ways. But, I didn’t want to be a male, myself.

I realized pretty early on, gender is on a spectrum.

I may have “masculine mannerisms”, and live in T-shirts and basketball shorts. But, I’m not a man.  When I am in a relationship, or in life. I may tend to be a more “masculine woman”, but I am a woman.

Can we please stop making gender something it’s not, and in places where it shouldn’t be?

Gender has gotten so misconstrued in our society, and it’s pathetic, honestly.

At the end of the day, we are all just people.

Beautiful, perfect, important, special, and unique PEOPLE.

Alexandra Fisher